Friday Nights are Lonely Nights

Being a mommy is lonely. Being a stay at home almost full-time mommy is even lonelier. Being a stay at home almost full-time mommy at home on a Friday night is the loneliest. (Although this is the first Friday in awhile that I have realized it was Friday before 8 p.m., Yeah...I know that borders on pathetic.) Bear with me for a minute.

Now, don't take all that the wrong way and think I am the worst homebody ever, or anti-social or even unfriendly. Because, I really don't think I am any of those things. Ok, maybe I might be a homebody a little bit.

My point here is that I don't have the friends I used to. As a mommy, childless friends think you are boring and a.k.a 'obsessed by baby' and attached at the hip to baby. All which may have merit, but you reserve the right to still be fun every now and then.

Four months into this and I am very happy to be mommy. I simply wish there were more 'mommies' in my area. I have tried joining the Mommy and Me groups, only to end up frustrated at trying to get into their schedule. They go places at 8:30 a.m. for goodness sakes! With Bryan's schedule (which I follow, if I ever want to see him and have our child see him), I am either still in bed with baby at this time or I am at work and Garrett is at home with his daddy. Other meet ups occur at 2 p.m., now come on, that's Garrett's nap time! Then, they have MNO- Mom's Night Out and wouldn't you know it, they all take place on days Bryan works. So I give up stop looking and then try again a couple of weeks later only to repeat the same scenario again. When I do find one I can join, I forget about it!

I do have a couple of girlfriends of friends that I am trying to get connected with here in the area, but as luck would have it, one of those girls are moving back to our hometown. We were beginning to really get to know one another. Of course, I have a few gal pal mommas that I call regularly, but I really wish they were in the flesh because sometimes a phone call can't get you that comfort you need. I also met a single lady that gave me the number of her friend...however, I haven't mustered up enough courage to semi-cold call her yet.

And I suppose on many levels that's why I turn to the internet, it's easy, less complicated and gives me some sense of camaraderie.

Like I said it can be lonely being a mommy.

Budding Friendships

On Sunday, we had 7 children under the age of 4 hanging out at the picnic. Along with around 15 adults, that makes for a very loud get-together, especially when it starts to rain. None of that seemed to bother Garrett, he took all the noise in and still managed to catch a 45 minute nap. As the crowd was winding down, I noticed how fascinated Garrett is becoming with other children and babies. He keeps a close eye on them and even mimics their actions to an extent. I caught a few pictures of him intrigued by his future 'friends of the family' buddies: In the picture above, he is with Ben, our friend Jon's 3 year old son. It looks like Ben is showing him his toy! Watch out Ben! Garrett might just grab it!

These three pictures, are of Garrett and Allison's son, Eli (who's 4 months older).

"Man, how cool are these things called hands?"

It appears that they are catching up on old times, huh?

I absolutely adore how Garrett is looking at Eli throughout these pictures. It's as if he's saying, "This is a baby like me! WOW!"

How much spit-up can a baby spit-up?

The first two months of Garrett's life, I thought "I have a baby who doesn't spit up" and I thought that maybe it had something to do with breastfeeding. I remember my friend Kim repeatedly telling me how much Nate had been spitting up and all the outfits she went through in a day. Nate is formula fed, so when Garrett never spit up, I was sure I was on to something and that I had made the clearing.

Unfortunately, as soon as he hit the two month mark, the spit up appeared and came in large quantities! Some days he barely spits up and other days he seems to spit up his whole feeding and then some. On those days that the quantity is massive, I begin worrying that maybe he is vomiting and not spitting up. In my frenzy I browse the Internet for the umptenth time to give me the definition of vomiting in infants. I should have the definition and symptoms memorized by now! And then after reading, I realize, his spit up moments are more a surprise to him then anything else because they are never accompanied by pain, aren't projectile (even though it does go everywhere) and he is still gaining weight.

I, on the other hand must endure changing him and usually myself at least 1-5 times a day. You would think I would learn and have a spit up rag on hand (as my friend Kim had warned me on numerous occasions) but I haven't yet. So far, the most outfit changes he has had in a day is 5 and that was today. I only witnessed three spit up episodes myself and each of those occurred almost back to back. Seriously, no more had I picked out a cute little outfit and put it on him before he had spit up streaming down him and me. I have officially become the spit up rag I think! I had the cottage cheese like sustance all over me- a present just for mommy, on my shoulder, on my leg, on my hand....

My hubby seems to think I'm not burping him enough. But, the boy usually burps more on his own than when I try to coax one out of him. I actually think he spits up because he over eats while nursing. For example, tonight he nursed on both sides before dosing off and then woke up about 20 minutes later. I picked him up and played a bit with him and he even had some time on his mat before he went on his spree of spit ups. I am wondering if moving around with him caused some of it as well as the combination of no burping and the overfeeding.

All I know is I don't have a clue how to minimize it and unless he is in pain, I suppose I will chuck up these moments to experience.

Anyone have advice on dealing with spit-up?

Blessed by Friendship and Motherhood

I just wanted to share these two photos. These are of two of my oldest friends (other than my dear Anna). I have known Allison and Kim forever. Anyway, I absolutely LOVE these shots and I hope we continue this tradition for many years to come. I love you two ladies and am ecstatic that I get to enjoy and share motherhood with the two of you! :)

(Both of them were pregnant at the time, Kim was 5 months pregnant and Allison was 2 months pregnant and I was 2 months shy of being pregnant! I guess something was in the water, huh?)

(With our little boys, Kim & Nate(9 months), Me & Garrett(2 months), Allison & Eli(6 months))

*You're gonna miss this*

*Song by Trace Adkins*

I have been meaning to post for over a week now, but with Garrett's check-up to traveling home and now dealing with a bad back (*again) and returning to work...I just haven't had the chance. This left me with a small dilemma, what do I post about since so many things have taken place! Therefore, I will start in order of our madness and go from there. At least, this blog won't be with a loss of words for the next few weeks!

With that said, Garrett's two month check up last Wednesday set into motion our busy lives and I feel as if this was the beginning of true 'family life'. Not that the last two months haven't felt or been 'family' in my mind, I think life for us has simply occurred in slow motion up until now. Kinda like a daydream. And those words we had heard over and over during the last two months: 'Enjoy this time now, because it goes so fast,' have suddenly sank in. Garrett is slowly losing his newborn look and gaining that chubby baby appeal and it actually saddens me. What's more strange is that I have found myself envying pregnant women and those who have just given birth! How insane is that? But, again...now I understand where certain comments or thoughts about these times come from. I guess it's normal to feel this way and miss the tiny baby he was. One day, I imagine I will miss even much more then this. :(

As I had said, last Wednesday was his two month appointment, which meant a great deal of things- for one it meant that we would see how much he has grown since his birth and it also meant the beginning of his shots and a long trip home to visit family. That's why I think it was the beginning to our journey as a family.

When Garrett was born he weighed 7 lbs 1.2 ounces and was 19 3/4 inches long with a head circumference of 14 inches. Last Wednesday, he weighed 10 lbs 5 ounces and was 23 1/2 inches long with a head circumference of 15 3/4 inches. The boy is definitely growing!!! I think he's at least 12 lbs now!

It makes me proud to know that his growth is a testament of his mother's milk, no substitutions...all from me. That my friend, is an amazing feeling....no an unbelievable awesome feeling.

We decided that with the recent uproar about autism and immunizations that we would give Garrett an alternative schedule than what is recommended. This schedule ensures he will receive his shots, just a bit behind that of his peers. I found this schedule from my SIL, this particular doctor is actually my niece's pediatrician. The schedule and an explanation of it can be found at The Franz Center (http://www.franzcenter.com/)under the link, New Information. With this schedule he only gets 2 shots at each checkup opposed to 4. I couldn't imagine, poor little guy seemed to have had enough with just 2. His doctor was really cool about it too, which was a huge relief.

After we completed his check up, we piled into the car and were almost set for our visit home...

All Smiles

Everybody loves a baby's smile. Especially their own. And that's what Bryan and I woke up to this morning. A smiling baby. I can't believe how much he has grown. The time with him is flying by and everyday I find myself in awe of this little person. He is the best thing to ever happen to me. I try to imagine what life will be like in the future. What type of person he will be and how we as a family will interact. It's all so surreal and then I try to step back and freeze time, because I hear these are very precious days, as 'chaotic and sleep deprived' as they are. I hold him a little longer and gaze into his eyes as much as possible, soaking up the little man he is. He is so amazing, so perfect...the best of both Bryan and me. A blessing I try to remember to be thankful for everyday.

Top Ten Things a FTM needs to know about being a MOMMY

For those of you new to the world of baby-land, FTM stands for FIRST TIME MOM, as in I haven't a clue what I am doing, but please don't offer me advice, because my hormones are raging so badly at the moment that I might literally bite your head off if you do.

So here's my TOP TEN:

10. You will NOT, I repeat WILL NOT, have any time to yourself whatsoever. Forget about your favorite pastimes, TV shows, books, and relaxing tub baths. These may be attempted but they will inevitably be forgotten or end as quickly as they began. Likewise, simple tasks like checking email or paying bills will take days to complete. (This is true for at least the first 6 weeks)
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9. You will become a 'poop expert'. Enough said.

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8. Some babies cry/fuss a whole lot and not because of colic, wet diapers or for being hungry....simply because they want to be held and they want to suck on mommy's nipple, not a pacifier. His/her cries will literally BREAK your heart.

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7. Random people will make you worry sick over your baby and whether or not he/she is "eating" enough or make you think that you are not the 'mommy type' with comments and occasional looks. Example: Your baby is over one month old and a stranger comments how 'tiny' your baby is or asks if he/she is a newborn? 6 WEEKS OLD is not a NEWBORN, at least not to you and 7 lbs. is NOT little!

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6. Family, friends, neighbors will state "If you put the baby down, he'll be alright....it never hurt a baby to cry" or "You're going to spoil him if you keep holding him all the time" You blow up on them all and then hours later worry whether or not they are correct and you are spoiling your baby and making it impossible for anyone else to eventually watch him.

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5. You will see your parents in a completely new light, a much softer and more forgiving light, finally you understand everything about them a little bit better now.

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4. When the baby is asleep (after taking 2 hours to put him down) you feel anxious because he isn't making any noises and so, you repeatedly check that he's still breathing every ten minutes, preventing you from enjoying or accomplishing anything while baby sleeps.

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3. The only way to put the baby to sleep is by motion (i.e. car rides, rocking or swinging), by sleeping with baby, feeding baby or by playing 'white noise' (i.e. hair dryer). For most effectiveness, these measures should be used in conjunction of one another.

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2. When away from the baby (upon returning to work, or say going to the store without the baby) you will feel a sense of deep pleasure along with an intense guilt for leaving baby with daddy. Upon arrival, you feel great happiness that the baby is crying and wants and needs only you.

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Drum roll please.... The NUMBER 1 thing a FTM needs to know about being a MOMMY is:

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1. The worst part of pregnancy isn't necessarily labor or delivery but in fact RECOVERY. Postpartum recovery is like a ticking time bomb and you are holding it in the utmost painful and uncomfortable position, trying to keep it from exploding. Modesty falls out the window. Absolutely no one warns you about this part. Yet hormones, sleepless nights, sitz baths, ice packs and all...baby melts your heart and makes it worth every single second.

Strategic Planning

Ah, sweet relief is all I feel as I begin my first attempt at blogging about the joys and pains of mommy hood. I have been contemplating the idea of starting a blog for awhile now, actually even before my little man was born. So finally, without further ado...my journey into Mommy's Little Blog begins.

Mommy-hood has its special challenges, as I try to set up my laptop strategically at my recliner while baby swings in my left arm, patiently waiting for me to plop down, expose my breast and resume his feeding. As, I set the laptop up, I realize essentials are nowhere to be found and off with baby in tow, I grab my bottle of water, a bag of chips, the phone, the TV remotes and Boppy before little man starts to squeal that he's hungry. Social Services might be appalled if they saw me, hmmm maybe I shouldn't be posting this stuff?

Finally, I settle into the recliner. Place Boppy into wrap around position (all the while holding little man) I lift my shirt, undo my nursing bra and take one last look around to make sure everything is in arm's reach. To my left is TV remotes, phone and chips. On my right is my laptop and bottle of water. With my right hand, I quickly turn the laptop on and start its connection. Once this is started, I latch little man onto the breast and get cozy...careful to peer into his eyes as he nurses. (Sometimes, I feel guilty, nursing and surfing the net at the same time...so I make every effort possible to let him know I am not ignoring him) He is so forgiving.

Okay, so where was I? Connecting to the Internet. At least that's what the icon says is taking place. I wait and nothing. Another five minutes go by and I reconnect, this continues for over twenty minutes, sometimes I get lucky, other times I get frustrated and restart the computer- continuously until I do get lucky....either way by the time I do get online, its time to change the little man's diaper or burp him or play with him or give him a nap. Needless to say, its never time for me to blog.
But tonight I have persevered!

I was able to get my sweetie to fall back asleep after nursing and shamelessly, I'm secretly hoping for a repeat session tomorrow night minus all the strategic planning (but that's wishful thinking).

Mommy-hood is Everything I hoped for and
Nothing I expected.