Those people I call family

Disclaimer: Certain family members may not want to proceed reading this, as you might get mad at me. Of course you never visit this site, so that really shouldn't be a problem, now should it.

(The players)

Nana: the overzealous hip grandmother/mother that is NEVER wrong or to be called out on.

Jessica: the dramatic, heartbroken, soul searching twenty-something roller coaster.

Me: The sane and calm refereeing 'what about me!?!' mother.

(The Scene)

Sitting up in bed enjoying my *new* Corel Draw program with Garrett snugly sleeping next to me. As I was lost in my musings, the cellphone jingled that rather annoying tune that I have yet to change at what seemed the highest decimal it possibly could muster. I tried quickly to reach it's blaring high pitch before Garrett began to arouse. (He has been teething and dealing with a bit of an upset stomach the last few nights, seems oatmeal is rough to digest just yet.) I reach the phone and answer without hesitation as I see the name Nana. Something could be wrong.

Last night went something like this:

Nana- "Hi, I didn't wake you, did I?"

Me- (In a whisper, thinking all the while, "Doesn't she, of all people know better?") "No. But he's asleep."

Nana- "Oh, well I just have a question. Did you tell Jessica....that I left her alone with your friends without you, when she was a child?"

Me- (No, where is this going?) "No. Why?"

Nana- "Well, she says she remembers me leaving her and her friend alone at the house as I went to the store when she was about 8. I didn't though. Here, I'll let you talk to her."

Me- (Doesn't anyone care that I have a baby under 6 months old that I am taking care of and that he is sleeping right now? Or that I have to get up and work tomorrow?)

Jessica- (a bit over dramatic if you will) "She is such a liar. I know she left us. Why can't she just admit it? I don't care that she did. I just want her to say whoa you remember that. Because, she is making me feel like I am crazy. But, I know what I remember Brooky."

Me- (Trying to console as quietly as possible) "That's how mom is. She isn't going to say she did it, so you should just drop it. But, if you remember it, it most likely did happen."

Jessica- "Then why can't she say it's true?"

Me- (Trying to sooth my waking baby while juggling the phone at my shoulder.)"Because that's just how she is. You need to just drop this, you guys have a flight to catch tomorrow. You really shouldn't be arguing now."

Jessica- "I'm not going anywhere with a liar."

Me- (My voice is now much higher and my child is awake and staring at me, listening to my irritation.) "Oh, pu...leaseeeee. Just stop it, Rod bought those tickets for you guys, you have to go. So get over this, you need to accept mom for who she is. She isn't going to change."

This continued for another 20 minutes. Garrett is wide awake and restless now. I am seriously irritated, but maintain composure pretty darn well. Although at one point, I thought I was going to pull my hair out. I kept thinking, why exactly was I called? (I guess deep down we are all selfish and narcissistic.) But, really did I need to be brought into this one? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being called, etc., etc., etc....However, I get a little annoyed that no one acknowledges my life here with Garrett. Or that I would love to hear from them some other time, preferably when they are not bickering over nonsense.

After we got off the phone, I realized how wonderfully content I am with my new family, my own family. We are so happy together. In a pretty sickening way I guess, but I love it that way. I find so much balance with Bryan and Garrett- I feel peaceful with them. And I'm relieved that I don't have to deal with all that family drama on a weekly basis. (no offense to mom or Jessica if you're reading this...which I doubt.)

Moral of the story:
I guess sometimes a person needs a little shock to the old system to let them know how good life really is.

Busy as a Bee

We don't really have a nickname for Garrett, but I have started calling him Baby Bee. I'm not really for sure why, but I guess that's the funny thing about nicknames. This post isn't about nicknames, although Garrett is called all kinds of things throughout the day and the subject might make for a good post....

Anyway, when I called him that tonight as I was getting him ready for bed it made me think of how busy I have been the last two weeks. It seems that Garrett has turned a corner in development and I have reluctantly increased my hours at work. In case, you were wondering or missing me at all this is the reason. I have also been trying to organize our cluttered house and get rid of a few things. I thought I might have a chance to work on my 'side projects' at some point, but I haven't figured out how to work those in yet. I think once the clutter is gone and I finish past projects (like organizing our endless supply of pictures, getting Garrett's scrap/baby book current or painting his step stool) I will get the chance. Looks like I have a touch of ADHD, starting so many things at once. I have always said I have too many hobbies.

It doesn't look like Garrett has that problem as he keeps trying and trying at everything. He is now holding everything like a pro, rolling over and inch worm crawling! (At least that's what he looks like when he does it.) He has a tooth cropping up and loves to laugh. Oh and he has started lifting up on his arms and raising his belly. It's the cutest thing in the world! What's not to love about this baby? He makes it all so very worth it when it's put into perspective. So that's what the pictures in the post are for, a reminder if you will of how the good Lord does answer our prayers.

Like I was saying, I am now working 30 hours a week as opposed to a mere 15. We were just getting by- mainly because I have a few bills that take up what I do make and because of a loan and car payment. I hate not being more capable. The straw that broke the camel's back was the news that we have to have flood & hurricane coverage effective immediately. It seems the powers that be in the insurance world decided that anything in our county east of the waterway is in a more liable area for disaster. Which isn't really a surprise considering we are less than 2 miles from the ocean. What did surprise us is the cost of the insurance, it's going to be an extra $3000 a year. Whoever said "When it rains it pours", knew exactly what they were talking about because we have had financial misfortune back to back since our tree fell down last August. I'm hoping this is the last of it. We are still paying off Bryan's appendectomy, along with our doctor and hospital bills. Hopefully, we can pay enough of those to get a nice tax deduction.

This all leaves little free time for me and I am trying to be a big girl about it and not be too disappointed. Garrett and I are working on a new schedule. That's taking up some precious time, too. We have to be up early now regardless of Daddy's. Bryan and I have been doing good, to me that's a testament of our love and lets me know we can make it through anything! God willing I will be able to start a business of my own that generates enough income to get us ahead, allows me to be home with Garrett and let's me use my God-given talents (because, I have tons of ideas). I also hope my eczema clears up for GOOD...those are my prayers. But, the most important job I want to have is the ability to spend as much time with Garrett as possible.

Friday Nights are Lonely Nights

Being a mommy is lonely. Being a stay at home almost full-time mommy is even lonelier. Being a stay at home almost full-time mommy at home on a Friday night is the loneliest. (Although this is the first Friday in awhile that I have realized it was Friday before 8 p.m., Yeah...I know that borders on pathetic.) Bear with me for a minute.

Now, don't take all that the wrong way and think I am the worst homebody ever, or anti-social or even unfriendly. Because, I really don't think I am any of those things. Ok, maybe I might be a homebody a little bit.

My point here is that I don't have the friends I used to. As a mommy, childless friends think you are boring and a.k.a 'obsessed by baby' and attached at the hip to baby. All which may have merit, but you reserve the right to still be fun every now and then.

Four months into this and I am very happy to be mommy. I simply wish there were more 'mommies' in my area. I have tried joining the Mommy and Me groups, only to end up frustrated at trying to get into their schedule. They go places at 8:30 a.m. for goodness sakes! With Bryan's schedule (which I follow, if I ever want to see him and have our child see him), I am either still in bed with baby at this time or I am at work and Garrett is at home with his daddy. Other meet ups occur at 2 p.m., now come on, that's Garrett's nap time! Then, they have MNO- Mom's Night Out and wouldn't you know it, they all take place on days Bryan works. So I give up stop looking and then try again a couple of weeks later only to repeat the same scenario again. When I do find one I can join, I forget about it!

I do have a couple of girlfriends of friends that I am trying to get connected with here in the area, but as luck would have it, one of those girls are moving back to our hometown. We were beginning to really get to know one another. Of course, I have a few gal pal mommas that I call regularly, but I really wish they were in the flesh because sometimes a phone call can't get you that comfort you need. I also met a single lady that gave me the number of her friend...however, I haven't mustered up enough courage to semi-cold call her yet.

And I suppose on many levels that's why I turn to the internet, it's easy, less complicated and gives me some sense of camaraderie.

Like I said it can be lonely being a mommy.

Weird Weather

Tonight, when I was trying for the first time to blog (around 7 ish) a hellish thunderstorm pounded us. It was insane. We had 65 mph gusts of wind and believe me, I thought we were going to lose another tree or a tornado was going to appear. It didn't even start to rain until after the 'wind storm'. Then the wind was gone and it poured. The heat was unbearable today, I'm sure that's how this storm cropped up.

I was so afraid that I brought the boys (our dogs) in from the garage, and the four of us huddled in the bedroom hallway/closet until the storm passed by. I am petrified of tornadoes and after the one that hit the Chesapeake, VA area in April...I am not messing around. I remember too many times while living in Newport News and driving home from college in Norfolk, thinking to myself that I was in the midst of a small tornado. That's exactly what tonight seemed like. Bryan told me over the phone that Murrells Inlet received 1 and half inch hail with numerous trees down. He said it drifted out to sea rather than moving on up the coast. I think we only caught the tail-end of the storm tonight. Lucky us.

Below is a video of the April tornado in VA.


This makes the 2nd trip into the closet that we have made since Garrett's birth. Guess after you have a little one, your outlook on alot of things change. While living in Norfolk, I stayed during the 2003 Hurricane Isabel. If you're like me, you've heard that when a massive storm is going to hit, there's a dead calm that occurs right before it and believe me, it's so true. The air is also very thick. We didn't even get the brunt of that hurricane, as it made landfall at Cape Fear, NC. That's a good 4 hours from Norfolk, yet we experienced winds as high as 90 mph in the dead of night. Power was off from 11 a.m. the morning before in struck until two weeks after. Tornadoes jumped out of Hurricane Isabel and actually did most of the damage, we were lucky it didn't strike during high tide or that it wasn't dead on. Isabel was a Category 5, but made landfall as a Category 3. The Outerbanks were destroyed. I bartended in a bar being powered by a generator. It was so terribly hot. It was an insane experience.

This is a video of Hurricane Isabel in Elizabeth City, NC; about 45 mins from Norfolk- but this is what I witnessed, as well)


I have always been a thrill seeker. But, I can promise you that I will never do that again. Not with a child, anyway. Things definitely change. For the better.

Isn't it amazing what you can find on YouTube!?!

A week's worth of rantings and realizations

Mommyhood truly is a full time job. Nursing is a second full time job. Cleaning the house is a third full time job. Cooking for anyone, save myself is sometimes impossible. Remembering what I need to do at my 'part time real job' the following morning is pointless. Making time for my husband and then for myself is a nano shy of obsolete. Where are my personal assistants when I need them? Oh yeah, I don't have any...that's right. So exactly why does a celebrity like Britney go cuckoo?

I'm jumping on the whine train tonight and I so wish that meant a red bottle of wine, like the good old days. But, shamelessly it doesn't. Rather it means five minutes on the deck as I take the trash out for Monday pickup as Bryan tries to coax Garrett back into LA-LA land.

Let's be candidly real for a minute. I miss me time and really miss we time.

Don't get me wrong, I love my baby more than anything in the world. He's perfect. He's always happy...that is, he is happy now. Once upon a time, I had a colicky baby...miraculously that period ended as if someone hit a switch when he turned six magical weeks old. No doctor bills or prescriptions needed. Luckily, the days have gotten much much easier. But, the long days have not ceased to exist and neither has his growing need for attention.

My day begins around 9 a.m. as we all begin to wake up. Depending on the day, I am either off to work by 10, sometimes by the grace of God I make it out by 8. But, that's on a very good day. Most days Bryan is off to work at noon and works a 11-12 hour shift. On lucky days like today, he leaves at 10 a.m. and doesn't return until 12 a.m. These days remind me of those first few weeks with baby Garrett and truly tempt my sanity. It's a day of constant struggles, in how to fit in all of my jobs without compromising Garrett's growing and learning.

I feel guilty if he doesn't get enough attention or if I take a moment to make myself a sandwich or browse the Internet for a few moments. He usually wins. No, he always wins.

We interact, we talk non-stop. I always had been told I was a talker, hence my name Brook. Yet, now I am a flood of words. We read books, sing songs and sometimes simply talk about everything. I tell him the who, what, where, why and how of everything. And Garrett eats it up and looks up at me with a twinkle in his eye, gabbing back as if he is in conversation over the most fascinating discovery. And I am certain that he is.

Today, he has completely found his toes. He grabs at them and holds them, feeling them with his fingertips. I try to show him my feet too, that way he knows that I have feet also. He has started perfecting his laugh. His first giggle was when he wasn't even 3 months old. We were in Walmart as a lady started talking to him. Of course, he has yet to giggle like that again, but he is getting close. I know any day now it is bound to come out! I am almost sure he laughed at the lady like that because we were playing with the giggle stuffed animals right before she spoke to him. So tonight, I bought a giggling frog. I know I 'm a sucker. And yes, I made a trip to Walmart at 8 p.m. on a S-U-N-D-A-Y. I hate Walmart, but with a child it becomes an experience and somehow makes the hours fly by.

Back home, we settled in to complete our nightly tasks. OK, those would be my tasks...I start cooking my dinner, make sure the dogs are taken care of and change Garrett's diaper before laying him down for bed. No night-time stories or a bath. We are both, too pooped for any routine other than the bed and the boob. He comes from a long line of sensitive skinned people and too many baths a week would surely ruin his precious baby skin. No lotions, either. Besides he smells sweet as it is. Of course, do I really need to justify this?

Except this go around, Garrett doesn't want to sleep without mommy. Yuck. Two tries and still a baby fussing. Finally, I bring him out to the living room and hold him, as I eat. Multitasking has taken on a whole new meaning. And then, finally at 11:53 my sweet relief walks through the door, takes a shower and keeps baby for twenty whole minutes.

I emerge renewed and remember why we decided to become parents. Tomorrow night I need to make time for 'we' so Bryan remembers that, too. Because, what would I do without him? He makes mommyhood and all it entails so very worth it.