Being a mommy is lonely. Being a stay at home almost full-time mommy is even lonelier. Being a stay at home almost full-time mommy at home on a Friday night is the loneliest. (Although this is the first Friday in awhile that I have realized it was Friday before 8 p.m., Yeah...I know that borders on pathetic.) Bear with me for a minute.
Now, don't take all that the wrong way and think I am the worst homebody ever, or anti-social or even unfriendly. Because, I really don't think I am any of those things. Ok, maybe I might be a homebody a little bit.
My point here is that I don't have the friends I used to. As a mommy, childless friends think you are boring and a.k.a 'obsessed by baby' and attached at the hip to baby. All which may have merit, but you reserve the right to still be fun every now and then.
Four months into this and I am very happy to be mommy. I simply wish there were more 'mommies' in my area. I have tried joining the Mommy and Me groups, only to end up frustrated at trying to get into their schedule. They go places at 8:30 a.m. for goodness sakes! With Bryan's schedule (which I follow, if I ever want to see him and have our child see him), I am either still in bed with baby at this time or I am at work and Garrett is at home with his daddy. Other meet ups occur at 2 p.m., now come on, that's Garrett's nap time! Then, they have MNO- Mom's Night Out and wouldn't you know it, they all take place on days Bryan works. So I give up stop looking and then try again a couple of weeks later only to repeat the same scenario again. When I do find one I can join, I forget about it!
I do have a couple of girlfriends of friends that I am trying to get connected with here in the area, but as luck would have it, one of those girls are moving back to our hometown. We were beginning to really get to know one another. Of course, I have a few gal pal mommas that I call regularly, but I really wish they were in the flesh because sometimes a phone call can't get you that comfort you need. I also met a single lady that gave me the number of her friend...however, I haven't mustered up enough courage to semi-cold call her yet.
And I suppose on many levels that's why I turn to the internet, it's easy, less complicated and gives me some sense of camaraderie.
Like I said it can be lonely being a mommy.
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3 comments:
Yes, it can totally get lonely!!! Keep trying though. As he sleeps less you will have more time for playdates. I totally understand the homebody thing; that is ME! The Internet is easy, like you said, and sometimes I have to force myself to get out and do something.
One thing that has helped me recently is that a friend comes over at the same time nearly every weekday morning, and we walk together. So at least I get that human contact nearly every day. That's a good and healthy thing. And the cashier at Wal-Mart doesn't really fill my need for human contact. :) Of course, DH does, but he's not a girlfriend!
Great, honest post--I relate to it a lot.
I completely relate. Your post made me teary. It is hard, but you do have to kind of take a leap of faith and sometimes go out of your comfort zone. Give that woman a call, you don't want to marry her, and what is the worst that can happen? Another thing, I have found that the public library is a great place to meet other moms and kiddos. Our library has free activities a lot. If you haven't already, you may want to check yours out. Good luck, and hang in there
This makes me sad and realize how little I get to see you. Having you as a mommy is new to me too, but never would I think you are attached at the hip to baby (and being a homebody is cool, I feel I am one too!)
I guess it just makes me miss you!
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